William Hague - My Fake Diary

Friday, 27 January 2012

I woke up this morning, and sent my personal assistant Randy, down to see where our new Bulgarian maid Stoyanka was with my brekkers.

Lucien came in with today's red dispatch box, and I read that we have reduced the Police Service personnel by 6800 already.

I take in hand and reassure my personal protection officer Lucien, that he is not at risk with the cuts later today.

Randy returned to the bedroom, looking flustered, telling me that he had caught Stoyanka masturbating, and she was really a he!

I told him to send him up immediately, and I'd tackle him about it for a few hours.