Wayne Rooney - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 4 March 2012

I'm gonna return to action for Manchester United at Tottenham today - so look out Spurs, here I come, two goals at least!

I'm just too good for the rest to match!

I've forgot about the South African fiasco now, had a massive pay-rise, stopped tottie hunting for a bit, ain't swore at no cameras for ages, bought me second racehorse, and 'ad me hair done.

And they say people can't change.