Wayne Rooney - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 29 February 2012

I got an email from that high class £1,500 a bash hussy prossie Helen Wood yesterday.

She wanted to know if I could recommend a good publicist!

So my wayward dozen or so visits to her were not all in vain.

Me hair is doin' well, me racehorses are okay, un me sore throat is gettin' better.

Oh, and Man Utd are doing well too!