Wayne Rooney - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 1 March 2012

Me sore froat is getting better now, but the Missus Colleen is still 'avin' doubts abart how I got it in the first place.

Why don't she un uffer people trust me nowadays?

I've bin good lately. Not been sent off for weeks, I've not been booked for weeks, I've not swore into any cameras for months, I've definitely not bin wiv that high class £1,500 a session prossie Helen Wood for... a long time now.

I've bought another racehorse on me Dad's advice, so I got another interest to keep me frum strayin'.

I've bin a good lad!