Richard Madeley - My Fake Diary

Monday, 24 November 2003

howdy partner, i'm looking for a new partner actually in business and in life, i'd still keep judy obviously-so's i can get rid of some of my fist slammin aggression in the most humane way.

channel 4's been on at my ear again 'why don't you get you're hair cut again richard? its starting to look like a grannys armpit' er! i tell you what is looking like a grannys armpit-judys face, but they never mention that, i suppose its because they know i am the proper man of the house and am more than capable of sorting 'er out.

i've got to go now, my public await. i always spend that little bit of time each day hanging around outside the studio by the the gates so i can catch any passers by a give them a signed photo of me (i wrip judys head off because we've only got pictures with both of us in and we all know no one wants her everyone wants me, even when they 'oh no i couldnt' when a picture is offered i dont listen)