Richard Madeley - My Fake Diary
Friday, 14 November 2003
greetings (welll christmas time is nearly here, which reminds me, judy and i can be found switching on the lights at the old mill, framely-judys trying to slap my hands off the keyboard, she doesn't like it when i promote so i have to shout in 'er face 'er! what do you think pays for all you spangly dresses')
judys been getting right up my nose these days. we had a palarva last night when we went to manchester to visit one of HER sons, i saw shelly off corra and wanted to get her autograph, but as luck would have it i didnt have a pen and paper (believe me i gave myself a proper telling off, a good journalist is never without his trusty pen and paper. im even consideing getting my own batman style utility belt with my own logo on the front-naturally. i look extra-ordinarily good in yellow)
anyway shelly walked off out of sight so i turned to judy and said 'i wished i'd of had a pen and paper because i wanted shelly's autograph' then she said 'i've got a pen and paper' well i nearly knocked her block off, it could have been worse though it could have been ricky gervais or someone really famous, i would have smashed her face in if it had of been.
chow (the kids love it when i drop them off at school and shout chow at them)