Osama bin Laden - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 6 December 2008

Dear Diary,

We are actually losing this war even though we have so many frightened. It only takes a bombing here or there so maybe we can wait it out in our caves.

That's a cheerful thought.

We've lost control of Kabal, Kunduz, Herot...lost Baghdad and all the major cities in Iraq.

Now we're losing control of our bowels.

We...CLUSTER BOMB!! CLUSTER BOMB!!

That was close. Better go outside. Must be a thousand bats that blast shook lose from the ceiling. I'll have to rewrite this as batshit is hard to remove.

We're all batshit here.

I'll wind up being a Vampire yet.

Binny