Osama bin Laden - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 9 December 2008

Dear Diary,

What a night. The cook caught fifteen big lizards yesterday so he should have been suspicious because they're usually hard to catch. Anyway, they tasted fine...well, fine for a roasted lizard.

Then around midnight my stomach started making a noise like the goddess of the volcano, like the whole mountain was about to erupt because I could here other stomach's roaring out there in the dark.

As I made a mad dash across the flat area, there were men walking that I passed and some that passed me and a few I stumbled over, crawling. All of us heading in the direction of cave #2.

Most didn't make it but we kept our dignity as best as we could.

It was like a thousand toad frogs were making mating calls across the desert and along the mountain sides.

I heard Udab pleading for a direct hit from a cluster bomb.

We're better but thinner today. The cook will be washing our garmets till he drops, or his head drops.

Godzilla's Revenge! I would not wish it on my worst enemy.

Binny.