Kim Jong-un - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 8 January 2014

"Peoples say I'm a homicidarrrrr runitic. Ries, ries, and more ries! I kirrrrr my unker because he was a roominizer and a not to be trusted roon. In North Korea, it is perfectreeeee awright to kirrrrr your unker for such a good reason. Rittle do they know how nice I actually am. I even adopted a weirdo NBA basketbarrrrr prayyyy-er who sings birthray songs to me. Dennis Rodman sang off-key and I didn't kirrrrrr him for this. See how nice I ram? I am going to see if the Pope will cannon-rize me as a saint. Rittle does he know how nice I am. I must call a meeting of my poliicarrrrrrr circirrrrrr at once! Saint Kim. What a nice ring to it, don't you think? Taxi! Taxi! Taxi driver, take me to Rome!"