Kim Jong-un - My Fake Diary

Monday, 5 May 2014

Woke up at 7am to the sound of my uncle laughing at the American TV show "Friends". Felt it was a personal dig at me so I had him killed by 4 aggressive dogs. I do like Joey though. Don't think there is any badness in him.

11am so I grabbed myself a sandwich. Tuna, cheese slices and some lovely mayonaisse on two slices of bread. Tasted great. As I was eating the sandwich I got a text from Denis Rodman. He's in town for a few weeks and was wondering if I wanna watch him play basketball. YES! OBVIOUSLY. Hope this time he can help me master my slam dunks. That reminds me, must get those hoops lowered.

3pm I watch an episode of True Detective. After Denis, I think Woody Harrelson is my favourite person. Just a pity he is from the fucking U.S. Might invite him over to North Korea for a game of chess. He can bring Willy Nelson (heard he was a chatterbox) if he wants but I will do the bulk of the talking or Willy won't be coming back.

6pm have a light dinner of steamed veg and grilled chicken. Sounds boring but I really want to get in shape this summer. I deserve a 6 pack.

9pm turn on the news and guess what? America is slagging me off. Again! Have they nothing better for doing? I never get up in their grill, so why do they feel the need to intefere in my business. Jealous bastards.

11pm and I snuggle up in bed with the Family Guy box set and a bowl of Coco Pops. As much as I hate America, they make good stuff. Kinda regret what I did to my uncle earlier today. Will make up for it tomorrow by not killing someone.

1am and I am fast asleep. I'm in bed like a fat kitten, all snug and cozy. Sweet dreams guys!


Previous Dates Next Dates

« Full list of Spoof Celebrity Diaries

Send to a friend

Tell your friends about The Spoof!

Go to top
107 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more