Justin Bieber - My Fake Diary

Monday, 13 January 2014

Dear Diary,

I like sperm banks. I like to think about all the children I might be having in the future even if something happens to me.

One thing though, I usually try to go where no one knows me.

But I hate those after hours ATM machines.

I mean you're just kind of standing out there in the open and people gawking at you when they pass by.

You keep your head down. Both of them.

You look up and there's a woman near-by and her husband is a construction worker and you hear, "Hey! Don't be looking at MY wife over there or I'll pull it off!"

That's when I hit the fastest button.

-Justin Bieber