Justin Bieber - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 12 January 2014

Dear Diary,

You know what I like? I like it when all those guys who think that I am a "Squirt" have their tongues hanging out when I walk into a nice restaurant with a beautiful woman.

I got called "Squirt" a lot and I let that motivate me. I rub it in and become as big of a squirt as I can be.

That makes them so mad!

World's biggest Squirt!

That's me.

Of course, it once got to me until I discovered that I had a talent.

So if you hear of me doing something like a little squirt, that's what I want them to think.

Makes them so mad they could hit something. Of course, I stay away from them personally.

-Justin Bieber...Professional Squirt!