Jeremy Beadle - My Fake Diary

Monday, 1 December 2003

apparently a suitcase isnt the best place to keep a kiddy while performin a practical joke

its illegal or summat, i just keep shoutin out of the letter box 'it never did my kids any harm'. then the police remind me i dont have any children of my own, so its left me wondering where i've got these three from, anyway whatever they make good coat racks so.....

because im not going out of the house ive got plenty of time to think up new show ideas and throw darts at edmunds' head.