Jeremy Beadle - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 3 December 2003

Oooh Pinky is hurting today.

I was investigating under the bed (couldn't sleep) and got lil pinky caught under the bed.

I had to fold some of the mattress back and goff greenies down to lube pinky that was trapped.

Got pinky out what with the greenies.

Washed pinky, poor thing. I put on the gold sequined glove, specially made for pinky.

Oh, the coppers are still outside! Can't they leave me alone? There's crime to fight, never mind my autograph!