Jeremy Beadle - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 10 September 2003

Hello readers. Sorry it's been so long, I've just had a hectic time of late, you know how it is.

My mum's funeral was a fun time I can tell you. I know it's crazy to say it, but it was, and you know me!

Hehe, my mum always used to say, you can't spell funeral without fun. How right she was, God bless her.

I guess the highlight of the whole thing was this small device I inserted into her coffin. It was a small toy I got out of a cereal packet. You press it and it moos like a cow. I'd had my fun with it, placing it under peoples chairs and the like, so I dismantled it. I attached a tilt switch to the circuit and stuck it in mum's coffin.

Now, I know I said it mooed like a cow, but if you didn't know it was a cow you'd be sure it was a person moaning.

Oh how I chuckled as we carried her coffin into the church. Under my breath of course, even I'm not likely to laugh at my mum's own funeral!

Sorry guys, I gotta go. I've just seen the post man and I remembered he's delivering this beard with flashing lights in it. I thought it'd be cool for my christmas pranks. I love christmas!

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