Jeremy Beadle - My Fake Diary

Friday, 5 December 2003

hi guys, it turns out the police werent after my autograph there was some confusion about whether or not i still had a kiddy inside my briefcase, as if, i mean i think id know if i hadnt returned one. turns out i still did have one-easy mistake to make what with all the other parafinalia in the case i could of easily overlooked it.

at least i got one night in the clink out of it so thats another gold star on the chart, oooo i felt like an extra out of bad girls, i could have been in bad girls as well, a bit of latex and some silver stockings and i could have fooled anyone. i saw nutkins whilst in the slammer he's turned into a right freak, what with green slime and fur hiding his nose and stinkin of piss-welll thats what celebrity can do to some people i suppose, not me though, i'm different because i am still a celebrity, ive still got it.

anyway now thats all sorted out i can get back to my life of fighting boredom, i feel a bit like batman when i say that only he fought crime, wellll it is a crime not to prank in my books so.....