Boris Johnson - My Fake Diary

Friday, 5 March 2021

Well, that was a busy week, wasn't it?

I mean we saved Priti Patel, but we couldn't give the Nurses anymore. I suppose if we hadn't saved Ms Patel, we could have given something to the Nurses. I suppose if we hadn't given Dido so much for her ideas, it would have been better. I mean I was expecting something cloyingly sentimental like her first two albums, but when she said she had an idea for Track and Trace, I thought that would be a goer.

Now, where is Michael Gove with my tea?