Boris Johnson - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 3 March 2020

Have realized O'Hare is a state of mind. Feel encouraged.

Must learn Wakanda arm chest salute as alternate Hey-19 virus approach, "or else."

"Darkness is merely an absence of O'Hare state of mind, plus Hydro." Never knew this before. Nice addition to usual C of E bits. Filing it away in the bookshelf of my mind, near John Lennon and John Denver areas. Feel closer to the world, suddenly. May attempt dancing....but probably not.

Wondering if Cybertrucks a good choice for smaller areas on smaller budgets without bomb patrol needs. Will ask about cost savings, alongside new poo buses.

Checking weekly fish intake. Ate too much B12 last week. Feel decidedly overperky.

Dreamed of a hairless woman shooting pool with an Indian bloke till 2 in the morning, flinging clothing about and Psalms scribbled on hotel stationery shot into homeless areas with sub sandwiches. Consulted lunchroom about bad eggs. Confident no food illnesses or bug outbreaks.

Wondering if Grimes is free for lunch next week if I call in a Skinny Puppy request. Feel out of it, blast it. Must immerse myself in new high culture asap.

Take my other jacket to cleaners.

Previous Dates Next Dates

« Full list of Spoof Celebrity Diaries

Send to a friend

Tell your friends about The Spoof!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more