At a press conference earlier this evening, presidential contender Hillary Clinton proclaimed herself to be, "not a monster, monster-like, or in any way related to monsters (with the possible exception of Bill who is, to be fair, merely a predat...
Just hours after pardoning Scooter Libby, President George Bush announced that he would be pardoning Adolf Hitler and freeing him from Hell.
In a surprise move today, White House Spokesmen announced that President George Bush had decided to relocate the White House and its staff to Albania.
The White House announced early this evening that President George W. Bush today deployed troops to the United Nations. Citing unrest and the harboring of WMD's (Weapons of Mass Delusion), President Bush brought down the full fury of the United S...
Washington, DC -- In a move democrats decry as an attempt to win favor with his conservative base, President George Bush today mobilized The Girl Scouts of America and The Boy Scouts of America to patrol the borders and stem the flow of illegal immig...
Washington D.C. -- With new immigration legislation deadlocked in Congress, the White House today announced that immigration policies will now be decided by a joint Homeland Security Agency/FEMA/NSA panel to be named by President George W. Bush.
Washington, DC -- President Bush has appointed Osama Bin Laden to fill the vacant seat as the head of FEMA. To rebut recent charges of bungling and mismanagement in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, President Bush wanted a "take charge kinda guy&qu...
While being questioned by reporters Sunday morning, President George W. Bush announced that the American government will "hunt down and capture" the gulf waters responsible for the attack on New Orleans.
President George Bush announced today that the weapons of mass destruction believed to be in Iraq were, in fact, only in Sadda...
From the Journal of Studies in Applied Anxiety:...
NEW YORK, NY - Governor Pataki confirmed rumors that the Statue of Liberty had left her pedestal and was breast stroking across open ocean in protest of New York's hosting of the Republican Convention.
President George W. Bush today denied allegations that his campaign remains directly responsible for the Swift Boat ads aimed...
FEMA officials today brought relief to the ravaged counties of Florida in the form of preprepared ballots. With houses and li...
Returning to the White House after a day spent comforting victims of the hurricane in Florida, President Bush was drawn into a...
The White House revealed today that President George W. Bush had been admitted to Walter Reed hospital. Originally slated for an outpatient procedure, Doctor Billy Bobbitt Boudreaux elected to keep the ailing President for an overnight observation.
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Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents
Roseanne Smokes Ambien, Commits Genocide
Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned
Inspector General’s Report Is Out
Trump Takes the U.S. Out of the U.N.
Secret Plot to Have Trump Declare War on Canada Revealed
Trump Gives North Carolina to Kim Jong Un in Return for De-Nuclearization
An original metaphor:
Roseanne Claims that Ambien Turned Her Into An Asshole
Trump Pardons Himself for All the Pussies He's Grabbed
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