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Funny story:  Antarctic Drill Project failure: "Corners were cut!"

Antarctic Drill Project failure: "Corners were cut!"

Cancellation of the UK Antarctic Drilling project was confirmed as the team arrived back to the UK. The controversial plan was to reduce the ice of the Antarctic to the consistency of slush by pumping different flavoured sauces into the ice, allow...
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Funny story:  Lion Attack: Quick thinking father saves family

Lion Attack: Quick thinking father saves family

A British father has been applauded for his quick thinking which saved his family from savage, hungry lions in Tanzania. Whilst on the holiday of a lifetime, the Philbin family's tour bus broke down, deep in the Serengeti. As the driver radioed f...
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Funny story:  Santa's coat is red - RED WITH BLOOD!

Santa's coat is red - RED WITH BLOOD!

Santa is in trouble after a whistleblower exposed Santa's operation as an illegal glacé cherry producer. However, the cherries are not quite as they seem; glacé cherries are not made from cherries but are really the noses of baby reindeer who carry...
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Funny story:  Mixed Miracle after spanish doctor identifies hands

Mixed Miracle after spanish doctor identifies hands

A Spanish woman has been acquitted by a Spanish court of murdering her husband on the grounds of recently discovering that she has hands. Carla Santiago (32, Spanish, has hands) had described Dr Sanchez Moldova as her guardian angel for identifyi...
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Funny story:  Ice loss embarrassment for receding Antarctica

Ice loss embarrassment for receding Antarctica

Fears are rising for the emotional stability of Antarctica after space probes noticed that the contentment is losing its ice. In an attempt to slow or even reverse the receding ice, scientists at Antarctica Technology University (Antarctica) have...
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Funny story:  High Diver dies in freak accident

High Diver dies in freak accident

A Spanish man died today when his record attempt to high dive into a bucket of water from 30,000 feet failed. Daredevil Miguel Smith had previously set records for leaping over a speeding train, being run over by 10 cars and being eaten by an elep...
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Funny story:  Squishy mess : Search for survivors following collapse of  hotel made from Sumo wrestlers

Squishy mess : Search for survivors following collapse of hotel made from Sumo wrestlers

Japan: Rescue workers are franticly attempting to rescue hundreds of American and French tourists who were caught in a horrifying building collapse. The tower, built in Kooriyama (Fukushimma, Japan) was constructed entirely from 950,000 Sumo wrest...
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Funny story:  Cocks: TV Regulator rules against Balls

Cocks: TV Regulator rules against Balls

Global sausage manufacturer 'Balls Sausages' lost their battle with the TV regulator today regarding complaints raised about an advert shown in July. 35 people complained about the advert which depicted a normal family of four sitting down to dinn...
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Funny story:  Christmas office party ban could cost the UK plenty

Christmas office party ban could cost the UK plenty

With the recession still ringing in the ears of many UK companies, some are taking drastic action to reduce costs. Worse than making people redundant; office Christmas parties are being cancelled. This has left many office workers with a problem;...
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Funny story:  Elderly confusional discovers magical transport portal

Elderly confusional discovers magical transport portal

Magical portals which can transport a person from inside a room to an area outside the room has been discovered in many houses across the UK this week. ESA Scientist Bradley Mendals explains, "Simply put, these 'Inter-Room Portals' are magical tra...
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Funny story:  Worlds oldest dog actually dead, and has been for five years

Worlds oldest dog actually dead, and has been for five years

The Guinness world record for Worlds Oldest Dog is in doubt today amidst claims that the dog is in fact dead. Ancient K9 Otto Jones, and his elderly owner Lynn Jones from Shropshire first appeared on regional news then became an overnight sensatio...
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Funny story:  Man Causes havok at airport with Table Tennis bats

Man Causes havok at airport with Table Tennis bats

Luton police are questioing a man who was arrested for causing confusion at Luton airport with a couple of table tennis bats. Airline expert Ron Bexley explains, "Airline pilots are conditioned to follow the signals of ground crew when they wave t...
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Funny story:  French world record breaking Tirimisu: Italy pissed off

French world record breaking Tirimisu: Italy pissed off

Tensions are wearing thin as Italy accuses France of the heinous crime of 'Theft of record breaking dessert'. Italy claims the French conducted a secret mission to steal the tasty dessert to pass off as their own. France was then awarded the World...
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Funny story:  University professor electrocution caused by "over gesturing"

University professor electrocution caused by "over gesturing"

A man is in intensive care today after being electocuted by overhead power lines. The "bizarre" accident happened when "Professor" Julian Hodge from "Blurples" College in Cambridge was "explaining" to a group of "children" how "electicity" works.
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Funny story:  Eighth severed foot washed up in Canada -  It's no mystery

Eighth severed foot washed up in Canada - It's no mystery

The eighth mystery foot washed up on the coast of Canada this week has been traced to a 24 year old English man through extensive DNA profiling. When interviewed, Mr Peter Mobbs (24, English, funny limp) described the events, "I went out running o...
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Funny story:  Man killed in restaurant for eating pie

Man killed in restaurant for eating pie

The case for the Manchester pie killing was closed yesterday with a guilty verdict against the staff of London based 'Boobies Family Steakhouse' of killing Manchester man and pie lover Anthony Morgan after he was caught eating a pie. Mr Morgan (56...
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Funny story:  Pick your nose and your brain will fall out - old wives tale turns out to be true

Pick your nose and your brain will fall out - old wives tale turns out to be true

A four year old boy is in intensive care today after a five hour operation to restore his brain back into his head. The boy's mother told us, "I kept telling him not to pick his nose because his brain will fall out, but he wouldn't listen!" Dr...
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Funny story:  London destroyed by space meteor - actually a hoax

London destroyed by space meteor - actually a hoax

This week, 24 hour world news coverage has been depicting London as a huge flaming crater after a devastating meteor impact. But when humanitarian aid arrived in London today at a cost of £300,000,000,000.97 everything seemed fine with no evidenc...
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True Facts From Snoops #1335

Snoops: The average number of toothpicks people swallow in their lifetime? Three. Mostly from laughing after dinner.

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