Written by Frank Miller
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Thursday, 7 January 2010

image for Ice loss embarrassment for receding Antarctica
Some Ice in the shape of dogs sniffing each other

Fears are rising for the emotional stability of Antarctica after space probes noticed that the contentment is losing its ice.

In an attempt to slow or even reverse the receding ice, scientists at Antarctica Technology University (Antarctica) have come up with a special solution.

Dr Hans Fallada, head of research explains, "It's the continental equivalent of Rogain for men. We massage the solution into the under-laying land mass. We should start to see an improvement in the thickness of ice after at least six months."

Opponents to the plan include Dr Leonard Bukovski from the Harvard Institute of Yoga. "Countries like Malta lost their ice long ago and they're not worried about it." He says, "There was concern in the early 1700's about how people would see Malta but the loss of ice hasn't affected the tourist trade at all.

"Our studies have shown that women find iceless continents more attractive and the loss of ice is actually a indication of high virility; there's no shame in losing your ice and Antarctica should recede gracefully."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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