A man is in intensive care today after being electocuted by overhead power lines.
The "bizarre" accident happened when "Professor" Julian Hodge from "Blurples" College in Cambridge was "explaining" to a group of "children" how "electicity" works.
As he "explained", Hodge gestured "Double Quotes" so quickly, his spasming fingers "generated" so much "lift" that he "lifted" off the ground "straight" up and into an electicity "pylon".
"It, did, seem, to be a, little, over the top", said raised eyebrowed and slow talking primary school teacher Mary Contrary, "he was explaining, about the electricity pylon, and he just shot up!"
Middle school teacher Paul Beecher said , "He was getsuring so much it was starting to get on peoples nerves. The electrocution came as a relief to be honest."
College lecturer Dave Rodwell said, "Can you imagine what would have happened if we were standing beneath a wind turbine? Christ, we'd all be wearing bits of him! What a twat, I'm off to the pub."
Professor Hodge is expected to make a full recovery but his "gesturing" days are over since his fingers exploded during the incident.