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Mc Connell Announces "Full Turtle" Transformation

AP-(Washington) In is surprise announcement, U.S. Senator Addison Mitchell "Mitch" McConnell, Jr. announced he will undergo a rare "species change" operation to become an actual turtle. The procedure will be performed at the controversial Mexican Ins...

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Dear Abby "Ghost" Puzzles Minneapolis Area

(AP) Minneapolis- In a surprise development, an apparition described by many as the "ghost of Dear Abby" has been visiting dozens of Minneapolis homes giving unwanted advice. Pauline Phillips, better known to millions of newspaper readers for deca...

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Julia Child Home Sold To PETA Member; Foodies Outraged

Funny story: Julia Child Home Sold To PETA Member; Foodies Outraged

The home of the late cooking legend Julia Child, in Cambridge, MA has been sold to a PETA member and vegetarian. Foodies around the world are crying," It's a blight on our holy grail. A mortal sin and she shall perish from the Earth," said spokesm...

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Woman Sues Copafeel for Perfoming "Too Much Magic" on Her

Funny story: Woman Sues Copafeel for Perfoming "Too Much Magic" on Her

A woman has sued magician Dirk Copafeel, contending he performed "too much magic" on her while she was a guest on his private island off of Somalia for more than twenty years. Copafeel's law firm Paymee & Screw, LLC deny the allegations and s...

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Disgraced Jimmy Swaggert To Open "Mr. Jesus Pizza" Throughout The South

Funny story: Disgraced Jimmy Swaggert To Open "Mr. Jesus Pizza" Throughout The South

Birmingham, Alabama: Disgraced tele-evangelist Jimmy Swaggert has announced taking his ministry in a new direction with the opening of more than 300 "Mr. Jesus, Pizza Shops". "Let's face it, folks just don't go to church anymore, but they do eat t...

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"Cash For Codgers." More Obama Health Care Details

Funny story: "Cash For Codgers." More Obama Health Care Details

(AP)- Washington-Democrats, realizing the success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan. President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this m...

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Oshkosh Woman In Running For Sexiest Vegetarian

Funny story: Oshkosh Woman In Running For Sexiest Vegetarian

(AP)Oshkosh,WI - If you called Gidget Sonuvabitch a real peach, plum or pear she might not mind, but it wouldn't be quite correct. Sonuvabitch , 50, of Oshkosh, is one of 10 female finalists in PETA's "Sexiest Vegetarian Over 50" contest. PETA...

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"Living Autopsies" Key To Obama Health Care Reform

Funny story: "Living Autopsies" Key To Obama Health Care Reform

(AP) - Washington- Offering Americans "Living Autopsies" is on of the major elements of the Obama Administration's health care reform proposal, the AP has learned. The proposal is hidden on page 876 1/2 of the more that 1,000 page document. "Gee,...

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El Quida To Open 155 US Recruiting Stations. Reaction Mixed

Funny story: El Quida To Open 155 US Recruiting Stations. Reaction Mixed

(AP) - Washington-In an announcement that took some by surprise, the Obama Administration will permit the radical Muslim terror group to open recruiting stations across the U.S. Saying, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer," President Bar...

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Attention Deficit Disorder Association Ends Convention, Cites Progress

Funny story: Attention Deficit Disorder Association Ends Convention, Cites Progress

(AP)-Las Vegas: The leading organization for Americans suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder ended its seven day convention here with the organization President saying there has been progress in fighting the disorder that effects millions of Amer...

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Dead NFL Star Steve McNair Accused Of Drunkenness

Funny story: Dead NFL Star Steve McNair Accused Of Drunkenness

(AP) - NASHVILLE, Tenn. - The local Sherriff here says he will file charges against the late NFL star Steve McNair for having a blood-alcohol level twice Tennessee's legal limit when his girlfriend shot him to death. Sherriff Bud "Big Butt" Hunnecutt...

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Ronald McDonald Accused Of Child Abuse

Funny story: Ronald McDonald Accused Of Child Abuse

(AP) - Cambridge, MA: If a newly formed children's protective watchdog group has its way, famed McDonald's Hamburg icon "Ronald McDonald" should be charged with child abuse. According to the founder of "RoGo," Stephanie Hertzberg, 43, a health food s...

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Toilet Paper, New Ad Medium

Funny story: Toilet Paper, New Ad Medium

(AP)-St.Louis, MO: You'll soon have more reading in the bathroom the than a pile of magazines or the newspaper, thanks to a St. Louis based advertising guru. Cyrus Little, CEO of Little, Hope Worldwide announced his international firm will begin sell...

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New Chrysler adds "Real Horsepower"

Funny story: New Chrysler adds "Real Horsepower"

(AP) Detroit - The newly restructured Chrysler Corporation has wasted no time taking a unique lead in vehicle propulsion, completely eliminating the pollution producing internal combustion engine. "Beginning in 2010 all Chrysler vehicles will be...

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Washington's remains found at NJ construction site

Funny story: Washington's remains found at NJ construction site

(AP) - Hoboken NJ: What appear to be the remains of the first U.S President have been unearthed at the site of a new Wal-Mart here. The discovery was made by backhoe operator, Nunzio Crapola., 36, who holds a PhD in Pre-Columbian Forensic Pathology f...

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Energizer bunny dead at 30

Funny story: Energizer bunny dead at 30

St. Louis, MO: The death of famed advertising icon the "Energizer Bunny" was announced today. Known to his friends as "E.B," Bunny was 30. The tragic announcement was made by CEO, Ward Little. "The Energizer family has suffered a tragic loss with...

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Ex-GM CEO to replace ousted pope

Funny story: Ex-GM CEO to replace ousted pope

The Vatican. He used to oversee the giant company that produced American icon cars such as Chevrolet, Pontiac, Cadillac and GMC trucks, but ousted General Motors chief Rick Waggoner will now be the spiritual leader of the world's 1.3 billion Catholic...

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Casino Magnate Steve Wynn To Buy US Capitol

Funny story: Casino Magnate Steve Wynn To Buy US Capitol

(AP-Washington,DC) In a surprise announcement, the Obama Administration said it was selling the U.S. Capitol Building in Washington, D.C., in an effort to help reduce the staggering deficit. The buyer is Las Vegas Casino Magnate, Steve Wynn, owner of...

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Name Calling Trump

One thing about Trump, no one will ever call him simpatico!
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