(Los Angeles, CA -) Some people flee crisis and beg for governments to take even more control over their daily lives. Others think crisis means opportunity.
Auburn, AL - Auburn University's Athletics Department announced today a program that has taken their alumni by surprise. Following last year's 4th victory over an injury riddled Crimson Tide, Alabama Fans seemed to be upset when Coach Tuberville hel...
St. Petersburg - Following President Bush's timely use of the "sh*t" word in discussing international strategy with Tony Blair, Christian fundamentalists announced a new campaign to promote profanity to get the job done.
Washington, DC - In a surprise admission of real stupidity Homeland Security Inspector General Dick B. Skinny admitted that the database of national monuments and other places subject to terrorist attack had been hacked by a group of nuns calling the...
As if his constant battle with drugs weren't enough to irritate the bellicose radio host, Rush Limbaugh must now deal with a lawsuit from the Pfizer marketing department.
Dayton, OH- It seems more than one person is confused about the sale of raw milk in Ohio. Although the beverage has been the single most nutrient dense food consumed by people for thousands of years, the Ohio Department of Agriculture believes they...
Downhome, TX - Fearing that the recent ban by Whole Foods on live lobsters could lead to a broader ban on other living foods, the yogurt cultures in Texas formed a marketing coalition to get the message out that they actually want people to eat them.
Denver, CO -As the accompanying photo illustrates, cows can be trained to use the ever popular portable toilets, at least according to Dean Foods. In an attempt to repair their poor public perception in the organic farm community, Dean Foods recentl...
In a stunning announcement that confirmed the worst nightmares of many American lunatic fringe groups, President Bush announced a new system of government that will return America to a feudal system.
Bonn, Germany - "We never saw that one coming," said Dr. Fenton Weirdbank, head of research at the Bonn International Center for Genetic Research.
Denver, CO - Horizon Dairy, a subsidiary of Dean Foods, announced today that they were stumped by the behavior of many of their dairy cows. The cows, which are usually kept in "Organic Feed-Lots" broke out of their confinement and romped in nearby g...
For several years the U.S. Department of Agriculture has been promoting a program called NAIS, the National Animal Identification System. The program has as its centerpiece the insertion of a RFID chip into every animal located on a farm, moving bet...
In a surprise announcement, Monsanto admitted what many have suspected for some time, that their genetically modified crop program is out of control. But unlike the usual complaints of ruined crops and dead farm animals, these complaints involved pe...
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