(Los Angeles, CA -) Some people flee crisis and beg for governments to take even more control over their daily lives. Others think crisis means opportunity.
Joe Tamponia is one of the latter. He was in the airport when officials announced that due to the latest plot discovery, no one would be allowed to carry on bottled water, suntan lotion or even toothpaste. Alarmingly, key-fobs were being confiscated because they could be used as bomb detonators.
Joe told a reporter, "I got to thinking. These people are going to have a hell of time getting in their cars without those key fobs. I mean everbody's got one. Hell, on the Mercedes the fob and key are fused into one unit. How does the government expect people to travel without them?"
"So as I was reading the list of "acceptable" items I saw that tampons were approved, unless you had too many. I am not sure how they gauge too many, but I am sure you could get by with one or two."
He continued, "then it came to me. What if you hid your key-fob inside a tampon? It's perfect. Nobody is going to take a tampon apart because it would be just too embarrassing.
So, until the govies come to their senses, here's a real opportunity for an entrepreneur."
Beginning next week, Wuz-zat Technologies will release its latest product, the "Pon-Fob".
"Just send us your key-fob and we will hide the components inside our plastic tampon products," he said.
"Full functionality will be preserved. Pull the string once to lock or unlock the doors. Pull it twice and the trunk opens. Twist it and the locator horn sounds."
Who knows where this could lead. Tamponia envisions a line airport gag items, such as a tampon that screams "You filthy man, get your hands off of me." Or perhaps a pair of shoes that sing "I'm bad, I'm bad… you know I'm really bad," when removed and placed on the conveyor belt.
"Perhaps a little humor could cure the craziness that has infected the culture," he said.
"If not, I think I will do a lot less traveling."