Jackson Memorial Services Interrupted by Mild Earthquake

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Tuesday, 7 July 2009

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"Whole lotto Jacko" fans had bodies shaken, but not down to the ground, by mild 3.7 quake.

LOS ANGELES, CA - No injuries or damage have been reported after a mild quake struck the Los Angeles, California area today, though "a whole lotto Jacko" fans were "all shook up" by the event.

A crowd of 20,000 attending deceased King of Pop Michael Jackson's memorial services at the Liquid Paper Center today screamed and shouted as they had their bodies shaken, but not down to the ground, by the mild tremor measuring 3.7 on the Richter scale.

"This is a moment that I wished I didn't live to see," said Stevie Wonder, the ground beginning to rumble lightly beneath him as he addressed the audience, just about to perform.

Outside, more than 320,000 police officers and an estimated 1.3 billion vendors ducked for cover under tables piled high with T-shirts and other Jackson memorabilia for several seconds as the earth trembled lightly.

Geologists say the type of quake felt in Los Angeles was rare, the effect of compression waves moving transversely from their point of origin, traveling through the Earth's mantle before re-entering the crust; the quake's actual epicenter appears to lie at a point somewhere below Memphis, Tennessee.

Experts believe this indicates the tremor may have been the result of Elvis Presley, the legendary King of Rock and Roll, "rocked" by the tremendous worldwide outpouring of emotion for Jackson that has now far eclipsed even that of his own passing, and subsequently "rolling" over in his grave.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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