The toxicology tests on the body of Michael Jackson have shown conclusive proof that the superstar performer was a knob-head.
Experts took their bloody time to come up with a reason why the singer died at his rented Los Angeles home but had to make sure that they came to the correct answer.
"Jackson had high levels of knob-head proteins in his body and this, combined with his weirdness and love of Peter Pan, lead to a fatal dosage of knob-headedness which induced death", said the doctor leading the investigation.
Jackson's numerous alleged plastic surgery operations on his face may have been feeble attempt tot hide the fat that he was developing full stage-5 knobbiness.
Asked if his children are infected the doctor said that only time would tell but that Jackson probably contracted the disease from his knob-head of a father.