Jackson Memorial Services Postponed Indefinitely

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Friday, 3 July 2009

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Jackson wanted to look his best on the day he knew was eventually coming.

LOS ANGELES, CA - Executors of deceased pop icon Michael Jackson's will pulled the plug today on memorial services for the star at the 20,000 seat Liquid Paper Center in Los Angeles, California for an unspecified period.

Sources revealed that, during this time, Jackson's body has been scheduled to go under the knife, fulfilling a clause in the eccentric King of Pop's last will and testament, to assure that he "look his best" for the memorial service he knew would be coming someday.

Jackson's corpse has been scheduled for one last nose job to help further correct the damage done by years of heavy cocaine abuse, and will also receive a modest chin reduction and tummy tuck.

After a period of convalescence, it will be replaced in the casket, and officials have assured the memorial services may then commence as planned, with all tickets sold being honored at that time.

They added that outside concessions, beverages and glass containers will be strictly prohibited, and only collapsible coolers will be allowed into the arena.

*** DON'T BE A DOPE ***

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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