An unidentified eraser-wielding vandal has rubbed out the eyes and ears of graduating senior Prunella June "Prunie" Bratcher in Freida Kaye Elliot's personal copy of "The RCHS Script," and replaced them with those of a cross-eyed jackass, the 2008 Reagan County High School Yearbook, RCHS sources reported Tuesday.
"I am so totally totally bummed out," Elliot told the Reagan County "There-You-Go-Again Gazette. "Like, who would do something like that to Prunella June? She's, like, the biggest sweetheart in the whole senior class."
The primary suspect in the attack is Hildegard "Peppy" Jane Embry, who, as everyone in school knows, has a huge crush on Billy William Henderson, Bratcher's boyfriend.
"That's nothing", replied Elmer Bob Lykins, you should see the big dong someone drew on Billy William's picture in my RCHS Yearbook."
"Oh, Billy William drew that himself, before he had any of the girl's sign", stated Billy's best buddy, Jock Howard.