Doomsday Vault opens

Written by Skews Me

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

image for Doomsday Vault opens

Norway made world news recently with the opening of a Doomsday Vault close to the North Pole to safeguard seed stocks that haven't been genetically modified.

Society is slowly becoming aware of the inherent dangers of genetically modified organisms such as the staples soy and corn.

The haphazard methods of genetic manipulation introduces unpredictable changes in the plant's fundamental processes, according to Seeds of Deception author Jeffrey M. Smith.

These changes can even infect those that merely handle the GMO products. People have become highly allergic to GMO while reacting normally to the natural plants.

Animals prefer not to eat GMO feed. Smith wants humans to rise to their level. Animals tested died or otherwise had numerous other reproductive anomalies.

Researchers blame GMO for increased infertility, rare cancers, and early onset of puberty.

The global honeybee die-off is blamed on GMO crops. Africa has rejected GMO shipped to them as it would only exasperate their condition.

Genetic engineering is creating food that produces unpredictable toxins in addition to the desired effect of being herbicide resistant.

Doctors are not trained to recognize the effects of GMO poisoning unless it presents as an epidemic of acute cases.

The lawyer for a leading producer of GMO works for the Food and Drug Administration, according to Smith.

Courts have banned the practice of including labels indicating non-GMO products.

Copyright © 2008, SkewsMe

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more