A genetic research group that enjoys playing god wants to bring back the dodo. And maybe some dinosaurs. And maybe Abe Lincoln. And maybe Donald Trump (he died, right? He didn’t? Oh, sorry, wrong news source.) A spokesperson named Shecky (not sure…
There’s a new monster in town … and it’s adorable! Genetic experiments at Northwestern University (Go Wildcats!) have turned a cute and cuddly hamster into a blood-thirsty Antifa Commie bastard who is ready willing and able to devour other hamster…
A teacher in a school in Bangkok had the fright of his life recently when, listening intently to what a girl standing by the side of his desk was saying, and looking downward so as to focus his concentration on her words, he became aware that she had...
A scientist in China claims to have made a mistake when he genetically edited a baby and accidentally combined the genes of an Entomology specimen with human genes, in a potentially ground-breaking and controversial medical first. The mother went...
Our reporter at U-R-FKD talked to Dr. Zoroaster Pike of the Tavistock Mind Control Unit in London to get his views on the recent announcement that Britain has got the go-ahead to conduct genetic research into human embryos. Critics are worried that it masks other concerns outside of human welfare that could have far reaching consequences for all of us. We could be at the mercy of mad back room...
Tests carried out by Anthropologists trying to cheer up the population of rain sodden Wales have revealed that whatever happens to Venezuelans, they come up smiling and have an unshakable belief that things will get better. The controversial tests...
In a press release today, the Cleveland Clinic in conjunction with several other teaching hospitals around the country announced that they had successfully implanted I-Pads in human fetus! "What is amazing," said Dr. T. J. McCorkle of The Clevela...
Recent scientific research proves that personalities, temperaments, and world views are innate. These are simply human genetic imprints. Now, world famous mind researcher, Adler Freud-Jung, M.D., Ph.D, I.W.W. and his associates have conducted e...
A team of scientists have revealed the genetic basis of serendipity. The gene SDPT1, which has never been discovered before, increases the likelihood of being involved in fortuitous happenstances. The researchers, from the University of Sagacity,...
Scottish Labour today announced that it is to be genetically modified in a bold attempt to prevent it from becoming extinct. Leader Johann Lamont launched the initiative from the Glasgow Science Centre, where she says the idea first entered her...
LONDON, ONTARIO (ABSNN) - Young Justin Bieber, a heart throb to tweens is a fairly girlish-boy. He is a pale imitation of a wimp; a slow breeze would knock him off his feet. A 98-year-old rag picker would beat his ass in a fight. And Bieber himsel...
In response to consumer demand for more ecology oriented automotive features, car manufacturers will be introducing a new line of optional trunk monkeys to help save on accessory power usage, thus reducing the car's overall carbon footprint. Takin...
Genetic scientists have achieved a major breakthrough in increasing our understanding of the human genome, now being able to identify genes which are directly responsible for specific personal attributes. Dr Xyy Chromo-Some, who has led the resear...
Leading geneticist Dr Hugo von Steinenfrank, of the Hermann Munster Institute of Bonn, has rejected claims made by two computer technicians who insist they invented Britney Spears and many other leading artists as part of a science experiment. Dr...
Just in case the world runs of out human beings, scientists at the Tokyo Institute for Genetic Research, have come up with a novel solution. Mice, those rodents we love to see on Tom and Jerry and in the two Houses of Congress, have been modified...
Rochester, Minnesota: In a study from the famed Institute For Gender Brain Analysis, a sample of over 500,000 women proves that they lack the MP3 gene. Known in genetic research circles as the "Monty Python" genetic marker, science finally has...
Scientists studying the humble budgerigar have spent the last 24 years trying to identify genes which can lead to physical abnormalities. Dr. Ian Boring, PhD student and Darkness fan, was responsible for taking samples of budgerigar sperm and ana...
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