Taking a page out of The Big Book of British Imperialism and Financing the Empire with Drugs, the Afghani government, aka The Taliban, have decided to play to their strengths and legalize opium and all of its derivatives. Since they grow the best shit out there, why not make some serious money? What’s the world going to do – invade?! Ha ha ha – and how’d that go last time?
Good news for heroin addicts! And Methadone! And lots of other fun things you can make from opium. Like zombies!
Now usually Muslims (as with most other religions, except for the Rastafari!) don’t like drugs, but like any good capitalist, when there’s money afoot, then fuck all laws, religious and state, and git some ‘o that green!
If you want a place to go to inject your veins with the good shit, soon you’ll be able to go to Afghanistan! What was the West fighting for? Fuck all! Thanks for killing in the name of … nothing! Burned down those marijuana fields, and then legalize it back home … wha? What the hell are western armies doing?
Anyway, the revenues from opium sales should reach into the billions in a few short years, making Afghanistan as rich as Saudi Arabia, and then the USA and Britain and all other countries will be on bended knee – if not flat on their faces – in front of the Taliban, saying, “Can I have some more of the good stuff, Bid Daddy? I’ll do anything for ya. Want me to cover my wife like she’s a piece of furniture about to be stored in the attic? Want me to circumcise my daughter? You name it, Mr. Tali-Me-Banana, and give me just one last hit … I swear, then I’ll go clean.”
And that, in a nutshell, is why China is so pissed off at the West, since the Brits addicted half their population on opium and killed millions.
The more you know! Knowledge is power!
