China has taken a bit of a hit in its worldwide image ever since Covid revealed how much the Chinese love eating things that very few non-Chinese people do.
Now, a new Chinese burger chain is opening across the globe, everywhere that China has jammed down its economic bootheel and given people lots of money to let them put their industries into foreign nations.
Happy Funtime Cutie Pie Dog … the burger restaurant that lets you finally taste the deliciousness of a dog between two hamburger buns! Why not try it? A billion Chinese people can’t be wrong, can they?
And if you like that, not to worry, there will be lots of other options on the menu:
Super Awesome Incredible Bat Wing! (For those Batman lovers out there … try it with new robin sauce!)
Amazing WOW Colossal Orangutan Anus! MMMmonkey’s are yummy! Eat its intelligence to become smarter – like Chinese people, smartest in world, look how fast their trains are, that means they’re smarter than rest of world – please do not watch as police in hazmat suits try to force people into vans never to be heard from again ….
Heapin’ Bowl ‘O Dung Beetles! (Ride the wave – get the fever – taste the dung!)
Tandoori Tapeworm (… explains itself … is your mouth already watering? Or is that your ass? Ha ha, just funny Chinese joke, Chinese people known as greatest comedians of all history!)
President Xi Ebola-laced Chicken Claws with Diarrhea Happiness … President Xi is a piece of shit, smells like shit, talks like shit, walks like shit … and now you too can taste the shit of Xi mixed with chicken claws! This ain’t no KFC – it’s KFXi!
And much much more … so if you can’t make it to China to taste all the amazing food choices (please don’t be suspicious that your roast pork can bark or sit up), then not to worry, soon your country will have many new Chinese restaurants where you will be punished with re-education if you choose to eat somewhere else.
Who makes better food than the Chinese? Woof Woof Hoooooooowl! You got that right, Chairman Spot!
