WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The Washington, D.C. Globe-Gazette is reporting that a UK warship, The HMS Toot Sweet, has been hit by three Russian submarine torpedoes.
The Toot Sweet was so badly damaged that it is limping back to its home port of Portsmouth, England.
Reporter Lola Watergold with the Globe-Gazette said that she spoke with King Charles III, who informed her that the entire crew is safe, and the holes in the naval vessel can be totally repaired in 8 to 10 weeks.
Meanwhile, to take the Toot Sweet's place, the UK will immediatlely be sending The HMS Friar Tuck to the Black Sea to aid the Ukraine in its war with the invading Russian horde.
