UKRAINE - (UK Satire) - The BBC is reporting that a British pilot, who has been identified as Capt. Winthrop D. Greengate, 42, from Liverpool, has been shot down by Russian surface-to-air missiles just outside of the Ukrainian town of Lozova, which is considered the Broccoli Capital of Ukraine.
Reports are that the UK pilot was able to zig-zag and avoid a total of 12 missiles, but the 13th one clipped his wing causing the plane to crash in a watermelon patch.
Local Ukrainian soldiers are in the midst of trying to find the plane and the pilot, who could very well have survived.
Meanwhile Putin has informed the new British prime minister (Liz Truss) that if she does not recall her British troops, her naval vessels, and her RAF planes, he will have no choice but to fire several missiles at Wembley Stadium, and put a stop to all of the soccer* games.
*Football in the UK.
