Gorbachev, the man who freed Eastern Europe from Soviet Russia, has died. His famous birthmark is no more. He has gone to where all other Russian leaders of the Soviet Workers Paradise have gone. Into the grave, but possibly no further. Who knows? I do!
In the afterlife, he shall meet Stalin, who shall be weeping as he asks Gorb, “Mikhail, what did you do? I killed tons of Russians for no reason except they told me I was a tool, a fool, with no school, and I drool a pool around my stool, which ain’t cool … and you destroyed my fascist paradise? Why, Mikhail, why?”
Poor Gorbachev … I fear he may not get the afterlife welcome from his predecessors that he deserves. At least he lived longer than Reagan, who (I heard through the spiritual grapevine) is best buddies with Stalin and Hitler and Mao and all the old dictators. They all play Risk, and every single one of them cheats. (Pssst: Ronny’s got a few extra tanks and planes up his sleeve – dirty American B-list actor!)
And yet, with the gestation of Vlad Putin, everything Gorby accomplished has now been overturned.
So to all you hopeful people who believe in goodness and changing the planet for the better … if you do succeed, at some point in a future which you do not and cannot control, some younger asshole will come out of the woodwork, call you an old man or old lady, and set about destroying everything you worked hard for.
If you’re lucky, your name will be remembered in some future history book as a footnote.
RIP Mikhail. Too bad your Russia couldn’t last. That’s Russia. Always defaults back to totalitarianism. Gorb tried to make a liar out of George Orwell, but Putin proved him right … again.
