WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Biden has decided to punish Valdimir Nikita Putin's girlfriend because Putski is saying that he will continue with his evil, invasion of the Ukraine, a country that hates war, as much as David Letterman hates shaving.
The very attractive Putin "Side Piece" is named Aleena Martova Kabulla, and she is 24-years-old.
During her senior year at Moscow's Joseph Stalin High School, Aleena was voted "Girl Most Likely To End Up Being Boinked By a Russian Leader."
Miss Kabulla, told Right Coast Revue reporter Tilapia Frisbee, that just because her sexy boyfriend invaded the Ukraine is not reason enough for her to be punished.
She also stressed that the fact that she is one gorgeously sensuous woman is no reason why she should have her $14 million taken away.
Meanwhile, Old Stumpy Trumpy told his dumb son Eric The Stupid, that he would not mind having sexual relations with Putin's piece-of-ass since Putin reportedly got into Melania 'pants.'
[EDITOR'S NOTE: But that was way before Melania started physically Dilly Dallying with NBA superstar LeBron James.]
