Are you a paranoid dictator who hates people who hate him, and want to keep them at arm’s length?
Or maybe you have a slight case of germaphobia and don’t want your filthy guests getting their diseases and viruses on you.
Or perhaps when you have dinner you like to spread your plates out far and wide.
Or you just like loooooong desks!
Now you too can have a really long desk with the new Putin Deluxe Desk.
That’s right! If it’s good enough for bizarre scum leaders to express their bizarre messages without having to say a word, you too can send your unwanted guests a serious message by having them sit 200 miles away from you!
Boy, will your butler get tired! Get him some roller skates!
Do you like to shout out your dinner conversation? The Putin Deluxe will insist that everybody shouts to be heard, but not to worry, all your whispers will be yours alone.
Remember, he who has the longest desk, has the smallest … well, lol, you fill in the rest.
Putin Deluxe Desks currently come in three sizes: small (50 feet long), Medium (100 feet long – you may need to build an extension on your dining room), and Mega Yuge Deluxe at 500 feet long for those ‘guests’ you really hate and can’t even stand smelling, listening to, or looking at, but for some reason you have to have over for dinner ‘cuz you made some promise or there’s a treaty or they have lots of oil or they have as many nukes as you do … but however you eat, you’re gonna need a long desk when it comes to feasting with pieces of shit in suits.
Now that’s diplomacy in the Age of Looooooong Desks!
