MOSCOW - (Satire News) - The Kremlin Voice is reporting that Russia's biggest naval vessel The Mrs. Nikita Khrushchev has arrived back home.
The state-of-the-art vessel was badly damaged, when it was hit with 14 torpedoes fired from the Ukrainian submarine, The Sea Bitch.
Capt. Artem Kryloski, commander of the Ukrainian sub, told Ukraine Today that if he'd had just three more torpedoes, he is 100% certain that the Russian monster aircraft carrier would right now be lying at the bottom of the Black Sea.
Meanwhile a very angry, bitter, and upset Vlady Putin is so pissed off at being embarrassed as hell, that he's had the entire crew of the Mrs. Nikita Khrushchev transported to Siberia.
When asked by a reporter how long the crew will remain in Siberia, Putin made a face, took three swigs of his Vodka Collins, and replied, "probably until the temperature reaches 100 degrees."
