Python called 'Monty' goes shopping in Adelaide supermarket!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 24 August 2021

image for Python called 'Monty' goes shopping in Adelaide supermarket!
At least she fed poor old Monty correctly! No dead rats just a furry pussy!

A python called 'Monty' residing in a tenth floor, 45sq meter flat in downtown Adelaide decided to slip out of its aquarium and go on a shopping spree!

The owner, high on a joint, discovered his beloved snake had escaped after going to the bathroom, where Monty usually spends his free time swimming in the bath, to have a pee!

Monty was neither in his aquarium, or in the bath and, he had left his dinner of dead rats behind! An obvious sign that Monty had escaped especially as the balcony window was left open to relieve the stinking apartment of marijuana whiffs!

In the interim, Monty had slithered his way down ten stories and hit the ground running (A snake running?). He bee-lined for a local supermarket where he slipped in the open back door. A supermarket worker was having a ciggy outside and did not notice the huge, 4-foot log python, doing a slippery move towards the fresh poultry department!

Luckily, a shop assistant noticed a fresh chicken being devoured by Monty, she screamed! The whole shop was evacuated as Monty's owner, still stoned, rushed to the scene as punters rushed in the opposite direction!

Animal protection services were called to the scene as Monty, after his tasty snack, slipped into a huge aquarium holding live, non-boiled lobsters for a quick swim.

Monty's owner was allowed in the supermarket after claiming his python had 'done a runner!' He told the animal protection officers that Monty was quite harmless, but he surmised that a diet of dead rats, mice, and unfortunate sparrows, was not quite up to a hungry ex-stripper's python's standard!

Monty is now in Adelaide zoo and his owner has been arrested for being a pot-headed exotic animal abuser. He is claiming innocence because when he received Monty from a local pot-dealer, the dealer promised him free marijuana if he looked after his beloved python, purchased from a local retired striptease dancer whose 'pussy' has now closed for business! (Use your smudgy fantasy for that one!)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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