Uncontacted tribe found in Australian outback

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Friday, 31 July 2020

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Australia: land of plenty of weirdos

A tribe of primitive people has been discovered in the middle of Australia. Prospector Bruce Minogue found the group while exploring the vast empty expanse north of Swollen Plums in Western Australia.

"It was a surprise all right," drawled Bruce. "I fell asleep at the wheel and drove miles off course. Thankfully, my co-driver, Skippy, woke me up with a punch to the face. He doesn't usually say much, but it was a good thing he woke me then. That was when we saw the huts."

He met the villagers while Skippy stayed in the ute. He discovered about twenty people living an ancient lifestyle that appeared to have remained unchanged for nearly forty years. "It was like entering a lost world," said Bruce. "They were basically stuck in the 80s."

He described how they lived without internet or any means to gather news from the outside world. They could generate their own electricity, and they grew food by subsistence farming. For entertainment, they watched old VHS videos of the A-Team and the Flying Doctors. They listened to cassette tapes of Duran Duran and AC/DC, and all had mullet hairstyles.

The Australian government has declared the area a reservation, and has asked that nobody else disturb the tribe, for fear they could be harmed. Government spokesman Bruce Donovan said, "It would be too much of a shock for them to be brought forward to the modern age. We don't know if they would survive it, so it's best to preserve them as they are. We're talking about people who haven't even seen Crocodile Dundee. Besides, we've only just managed to get the mullet count below 10%, we don't want that catching on again."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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