Man Farts In Bath

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 14 March 2021

image for Man Farts In Bath
Putting your head underwater during a fart can be dangerous

There was a minor nautical disturbance in a relatively serene part of the country on Friday night, when a man having a bath broke wind, shattering the silence for others in the vicinity.

The scene of the incident was the East Yorkshire resort of Oaf-on-Sea, where Myke Woodson, 57, lives with his mother in her tiny bungalow.

Woodson, having perused the newspaper and discovered there was nothing worth watching on the television, decided to have a relaxing bath, and filled the tub with hot water and some bubble bath.

Ten minutes later, as he reclined in the sweet-scented froth, Woodson felt a rumbling in his rectum, and knew, instinctively, there was about to be a major gas explosion.

He tried to sit up slightly to aid the smooth passage of the gas, but, as he did, there was a loud squirting sound, as if millions of tiny bubbles had been expelled from a garden hose nozzle being held under the surface in a water butt. This was followed by a sub-aqua gargling sound, as the fart reverberated against the plastic base of the bath, and a ghastly smell rose to the surface with toxic bubbles.

Woodson's mother, in her bedroom across the hallway, heard the sound. She said:

"I was sitting in front of my mirror, brushing my hair, when I heard it. I thought it was the neighbor with his drill. Then I remembered who was in the bath!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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