(NOT EDITED) As most cat owners know, cats can be quite obstinate, naughty, ignore their owners orders, go their own way, and do their own thing. In other words, cats are completely opposite to their canine competitors.
However, one cat, a huge Persian, called Percy, took these catty traits to a limit. It resides in a terraced house in Belvedere, Kent, UK. Percy is pampered day and night by its owner, he sleeps where he wants to, favourite place in owner's bed of course, and always grabs prime position in front of the gas fire on very cold nights.
Percy is fed only prime cut meat and expensive tin food, plus an occasional tit-bit, cream cakes, but only on Sundays. Percy's nutritional diet, as one can imagine, has led to him being slightly overweight, not quite obese, but very near, and combustible disruptions exiting his rear orifice.
The owner, a well to do granny from 79, first smelt the problem when Percy, sitting on her lap and purring, let several farts rip! The stench was awful and nearly made Granny puke! However, she was convinced it was not her beloved Percy, and ordered a team of Vermin-Terminators just in case there were dead river-rats or mice lying around the place. Belvedere is located near the Thames, and local river-rats have been observed encroaching human habitats in the vicinity.
The Terminator Team found nothing, but on leaving the house, spotted a rather corpulent Persian cat sitting on grannies lap. They offered some advice and advised her to get Percy's belly examined at the local vet.
Distraught with anger, and feeling totally insulted, she told them to 'Fuck Off and catch some rats instead of insulting her precious Percy!" They charged her £50,00 for the pleasure.
Percy, also feeling quite insulted, turned his rear-end in the direction of the Terminator Team and released a huge fart, which stunk incredibly awful. Two days later Granny took Percy to the vet and they confirmed the fact, Percy the Persian cat, was certainly suffering from a combustible intestine problem. They prescribed a vegan diet for the rest of its pampered life, air-sprays, and open windows until Percy's intestines recover from living a rather opulent life-style!