Christmas Eve somewhere near Cologne, Germany: After a hard day's work in the local loony bin, a German nurse, who cares for Nutters all year, went home to enjoy Christmas Eve with her hubby.
Before leaving to do her final shift, she ordered him to crack nuts before she returned home. He, an unemployed traffic warden, thought she would return late in the afternoon because Christmas Eve in Germany is the highlight of the festive period. so, he got dressed in his favourite costume to crack his nuts before she returned home.
Listening to that popular opera, The Nutcracker Suite, and dressed in a pink tutu, which he hides from his wife just in case she thinks he's rather queer, he started cracking his nuts! Now and then he would have a nifty whirl around the living room.
Unfortunately, his wife returned earlier than expected! She heard the classic music blasting out thinking, "Maybe hubby has got his Rudolf Nureyev tights on, kinky, which reveal his nuts, and we can 'crack' it up on Christmas Eve!"
She opened the living room door and fainted like a dying swan as her hubby, stood on his toes twirling in a spin with his tutu flying, revealing what Scotsmen reveal when their kilts fly high!
The shock was too much for her as she crashed to the ground banging her head on a pair of nutcrackers hubby had launched into the air in a wild frenzy of nut-cracking!
He quickly got dressed, rung the ambulance service, who rushed to the scene, only to discover a distraught wife lying on the ground humming Swan Lake! They piled her into the ambulance and drove to the local loony bin just in case she was mentally impaired after her fall.
The receiving nurse obviously recognised the wife and asked the ambulance men to wheel her gently into a spare room explaining to them that this year had been incredibly stressful for personnel, and she certainly needed some peace and quiet.
Her hubby whispered to her, "darling, I have got some nut-cracking to do, and when you feel better, I'll come and save you from your Nuthouse!"
She answered, "don't bother, I've just come from there, and you can crack your own nuts from now on, I want a divorce!"
