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Funny satire stories about Crack

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Funny story: Cross-Dresser German Nutter cracks his nuts dressed in a pink tutu!

Cross-Dresser German Nutter cracks his nuts dressed in a pink tutu!

Christmas Eve somewhere near Cologne, Germany: After a hard day's work in the local loony bin, a German nurse, who cares for Nutters all year, went home to enjoy Christmas Eve with her hubby. Before leaving to do her final shift, she ordered him…

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Funny story: Crack Cocaine Consignment Contained Face Masks

Crack Cocaine Consignment Contained Face Masks

Alert customs officers at Dover have intercepted what they say is the biggest haul of face masks they have ever seized. The stash was hidden inside a routine consignment of crack cocaine. The face masks had a street value of £5million. Offic...

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Funny story: Elmer Smuckmeister Arrested For Possession Of Crack Paraphernalia

Elmer Smuckmeister Arrested For Possession Of Crack Paraphernalia

BILLINGSGATE POST: Outside the Costco in Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, Elmer Smuckmeister was stopped by the local constable. Elmer, who was an enterprising young man of impeccable credentials - his father owned the only saloon in town - was only too...

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Funny story: Vicky Kadian and Neeraj Pandey together again for ‘Crack’

Vicky Kadian and Neeraj Pandey together again for ‘Crack’

Neeraj Pandey directed drama movie ‘Crack’ which starring Vicky Kadian and Akshay Kumar in lead role. The film also stars Saurabh Shukla, Elli Avrram, Rahul Dev, Gurpreet Ghuggi, Rahul Verma Rajput and Bijay Thakur in prominant role. Neeraj Pan...

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Funny story: Nation's Poor Smoking More Crack Due To Pot Price Peak

Nation's Poor Smoking More Crack Due To Pot Price Peak

A new research study out today shows that the nations poor, as defined by poverty rates, are smoking more crack than ever now that legal pot prices are souring! "I can't even afford a roach now" said 22 year old stoner Cody Nevins. "Crack is by far t...

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Funny story: Crack Dealers To Give Away Rest of Stock and Go On Unemployment

Crack Dealers To Give Away Rest of Stock and Go On Unemployment

Crack dealers have probably been hit hardest in the recent recession. That, and the proliferation of cheap pharmaceuticals on the Internet. "We can't give this stuff away anymore. People just aren't into smoking crack anymore. Why go to all the...

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Funny story: Embattled Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Receives A Fantastic Offer From Africa

Embattled Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Receives A Fantastic Offer From Africa

NEW YORK CITY - The Right Coast Revue is reporting that crack-smoking, alcohol drinking Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has just received a wonderfully heartwarming letter from Lower Zamgola. The RCR states that a spokesperson for the tiny African country...

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Funny story: Crack-Smoking Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Asked To Please Move Out of Canada

Crack-Smoking Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Asked To Please Move Out of Canada

NEW YORK CITY - American Spotlight Magazine is reporting that Tornoto Mayor Rob Ford says he cannot believe all of the BS that he is being put through simply because he told the truth. The rather plumpish mayor admitted to crack-smoking, binge dri...

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Funny story: Toronto Mayor Defends Behavior and Not Budging

Toronto Mayor Defends Behavior and Not Budging

Crack smoking on police cameras? Smoking weed in the streets? Popping pills, drinking on the job, hiring prostitutes, soliciting sex from employees. Mayor Ford has been in the spotlight for QUITE a crazy lifestyle, or so it seems. With his agon...

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Funny story: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Illegally Reproducing Keys To The City

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Illegally Reproducing Keys To The City

(TORONTO,ON) Admitted crack user and illicit drug purchaser, Mayor Rob Ford of Toronto, has been found illegally reproducing the Keys to the City and selling them on Ebay to fund his drug use. In a tumultuous city council meeting which saw him wr...

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Funny story: Another Mayor "Crackin" Up

Another Mayor "Crackin" Up

TORONTO, ON - The mayor of Toronto, ON has admitted recently to smoking crack, but is refusing to resign his position. "How can I afford to give this job up? Do you realize how expensive a CRACK habit is?" states the mayor. Locals are working...

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Funny story: Cook County crack addict resigns from bench

Cook County crack addict resigns from bench

ST. ECLAIR, ILL - Michael Cook, who was caught, white-handed, cooking up smack (or maybe it was coke; details are confused in what remains of his mind), has resigned in disgrace from his position as a Cook County judge. A colleague died of a heroi...

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Funny story: Welsh flood woes intensify amid reports of crack in local reservoir

Welsh flood woes intensify amid reports of crack in local reservoir

Wales - West Wales Drugs Squad has been alerted to a new horror menacing the flood-stricken people of Gwynedd. This morning's reports said crack had been found in a reservoir at Pennal, close to Machynlleth, contaminating drinking supplies and fri...

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Funny story: Pilot for new TV show "Methbusters" ends in disaster

Pilot for new TV show "Methbusters" ends in disaster

New York, NY - The fire department was called to quell street celebrations here after the live television audience of the pilot for the new reality TV show, "Methbusters", was accidentally exposed to massive amounts of crystal meth, according to anon...

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Funny story: Amy Winehouse Brought Back to Life By Crack Pipe - Police Warn Over Superhuman Crack Zombie Epidemic in London inc. Karl Marx & Queen Victoria

Amy Winehouse Brought Back to Life By Crack Pipe - Police Warn Over Superhuman Crack Zombie Epidemic in London inc. Karl Marx & Queen Victoria

Spoof news sites are being condemned and politicians are calling for an investigation after a recent fake story inspired a bunch of bored crack addicts to successfully bring Amy Winehouse back to life, which has baffled scientists and experts. Police...

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Funny story: Crack Whore-O-Scopes: Summer 2011

Crack Whore-O-Scopes: Summer 2011

Just in time for Spring and Summer, the Astrological Star Society based in Jackson Hole, Wyoming has expanded its customized translations for the workforce by including specialized astrology readings for working class women and men in the Crack Whore profession. Starting in May, the A.S.S. will publish new insight gleaned from the stars to guide your personal and professional lives. The stars are...

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Funny story: Ridiculous measures taken at Fukushima reactors

Ridiculous measures taken at Fukushima reactors

Fukushima - According to an anonymous source working at the reactor, known only as Terryachyshumo Gansakifushimi, Tokyo Electric Power is resorting to ridicules measures to block a cracked reactor here. Tepco is flushing into this leak: * Sty...

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