Man Has Really Let Himself Go

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 19 September 2020

image for Man Has Really Let Himself Go
A man who has let himself go, but not the man in the story

The Coronavirus lockdown, which started in March, is known to be having a significant effect on people's mental health, as we all get rather too irritable, but one man has become so terminally disillusioned with things, that he's really let himself go.

Ordinarily a very presentable specimen, Moys Kenwood, 57, says he's just not bothered about anything anymore, and has started to let things swing.

"I'm just not bothered about anything anymore," he confirmed.

Amongst the things he's not bothered about anymore, is his physical appearance. Hair, teeth, chin and ears have been all been designated as 'non-essential'.

Before the advent of Covid-19, he washed his thinning thatch every morning - with Coconut shampoo - and shaved with the same regularity. Now, however, these tasks have been shelved.

He said:

"I'm just not bothered about anything anymore."

His teeth, too, have escaped brushing on many occasions, being cleaned only when it becomes 'absolutely necessary'.

It's even been claimed that he doesn't even bother to get dressed some days, preferring to lounge around in the boxer shorts he slept in the night before. His wife said:

"The worst of it is, that, even when he does decide to get dressed, he'll wear the same pair of undies for days on end!"

Kenwood said:

"I'm just not bothered about anything anymore. What's the point? The virus is coming, and we're all going to die."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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