Noodle Shop Woman Aghast At Poor Aim Of Customers

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 18 September 2020

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No potential darts players here

The female owner of a local food eaterie which caters for Asian tastes has commented on the poor aim of many of her customers when attempting to toss refuse into the waste bin.

The shop, which is open seven days per week, between the hours of midday and 9 p.m., serves ravenous and cash-conscious residents of Tapon commune with noodles and soup, accompanied by either beef or chicken, if you're ever in the area and peckish.

The woman, who runs herself ragged buying meat, vegetables and animal bones at the market, preparing it all, cooking it all, and selling it as well, then does a shitload of washing up, after the filthy tramps that wolf the food down as if they hadn't eaten for a fortnight have licked their bowls empty.

Worse than that, says Sawon Kenwood, is the way that not one of them seems able to hit a basket with a bit of tissue paper from a distance of one armlength.

"Or a plastic drinks bottle. Or ring pulls from drinks cans. Or, last night, a sock and a plastic builder's trowel," she said.

"Everything ends up on the floor, along with all the gobs of spit they feel it necessary to leave behind."

And who is the lucky individual who gets to pick all the litter up from the floor?

"Oh, my husband does it!" she laughed.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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