FOXBORO, Massachusetts – Tom Brady has stunned the football world as he has finally admitted that he has informed the New England Patriots organization that he is demanding to be traded.
The Sporting Balls Review reported that Brady’s chauffeur overheard the NFL quarterback talking on his cell phone to a representative with the Miami Dolphins.
The driver, who asked not be identified, told SBR reporter, Dusty Dandelion, that Tom feels that Massachusetts has just become way too crowded. He noted that he and Giselle (his wife), and their three kids, recently drove to a Jack-In-The-Box restaurant, and they could not get in.
Brady said that there was a line with about 52 men, women, kids, and babies waiting to get in. So he drove his family to a nearby McDonalds, and there was an even longer line there.
They finally ended up having to eat at a Captain Sardines eatery, which he said had very sexy waitresses, who were dressed as mermaids, but he noted that every item on the menu had a fishy smell.
The number 12-wearing Brady said that he and Giselle want to move their family to Florida, where there is tons and tons of spacious room, and where it’s always sunny. He grinned and added "Plus Florida has the best orange juice, the cutest parrots, and the tastiest guacamole in the entire country".
IN CLOSING – Reports coming out of the White House state that Secretary of State Steve Mnuchin is extremely upset at the new nickname that actor Robert De Niro has given him. De Niro has nicknamed him Steve “The Turdhead” Mnuchin.