Man Had Bitten Off More Than He Could Chew

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 2 September 2020

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Don't bite off more than you can chew

We've all heard it said many times before - the somewhat admonishing phrase "you've bitten off more than you can chew!" - and that was exactly the case for one man at the weekend when he bit off more than he could chew.

The man in question was none other than Moys Kenwood, 57, who was sitting down for dinner with his family on Sunday evening. On the menu, beef and stir-fried vegetables on a bed of boiled rice. Expectations were high!

Unfortunately, cows in Cambodia are a bit on the 'tough side', and those around Battambang are the toughest of the lot. Consequently, eating beef can be a long, drawn-out process, and can result in aching jaws.

Instead of several succulent strips of beef, however, Kenwood noticed there was only one rather large 'clump of meat' on his plate, and, as he had no knife to cut with, he tore away a chunk of it, and set his teeth to work.

He attempted to chomp away, furiously, grinding his teeth against the stubborn grey-brown cowmeat that didn't want to be eaten, but it was too big, and too tough.

He tried, unsuccessfully, to move the beef around his mouth from one side to the other, but it wouldn't shift, so large and awkward was it, and, panicking as it wedged itself in his gullet, he very nearly choked.

Only the timely intervention of his never-failing wife saved the day. She stealthily approached him from behind, and delivered a punch to his back that sent the beefpiece flying out of his mouth, hrough the air, and back onto his plate, from where it was thrown, unceremoniously into the trash.

A colony of ants immediately got busy dismantling it.

Mrs Kenwood said:

"To coin the phrase, he'd definitely bitten off more than he could chew!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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