International tabloid / Broadsheet sleazy headlines 13/07/2020!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 13 July 2020

image for International tabloid / Broadsheet sleazy headlines 13/07/2020!
You just can't get enough of them, can you!

After the enormous success of scavenging sleazy headlines from sleazy UK tabloids / Broadsheets, Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army), decides to send his global roach, very sleazy reporters, all over the globe to expand his operations and here are today's sleazy headlines (Beware, some may shock you!):

Daily Star (UK): Ex-pat, star spoofer, and Harry Maguire stalker, Primate Forest (name changed for legal reasons), arrested in Bangkok red light district whilst purchasing Harry Maguire porn video of Harry kissing his team mates after scoring a goal!

Yorkshire Post (UK): It's all fake news, ex-pat, Maguire stalker, Hull City die-hard, and Man United-hater, was in Cambodia at the time, he maintains!

Washington Post: Bill Gates caught on video slipping out of a laboratory in Wuhan, China, with a test tube hidden up his sleeve, claims Trump!

Peking Times: Bill Gates was not seen slipping out of a laboratory in Wuhan, China, with a test tube hidden up his sleeve! At the time, he was in his garage doing a $mega-multi-trillion deal with Huawei!

The Sun (UK): Hooligan English piss artists on Majorca punch lights out of hooligan German piss artists whilst ignoring social distancing!

Bild Zeitung (Germany): Hooligan Deutsche piss artists zump ze lights out ov hooligan Englische piss artists on Mallorca vile ignoring sozial diztanzing! Who really von ze var?

Delhi Express: India's president welcomes Corona, he says it tastes much better than Kingfisher, which tastes like cats piss!

Mexico City Post: Si claro, India esta uno muy bien pais para nuestra muy bien cerveza! Otra Corona esta mierda, muchas gracias Delhi en esta Corona periode!

De Telegraaf (NL): We deny all connections with slave trading, it was those damn Belgians because Holland did not exist at the time, and we support BLM, not then, but now!

So, avid readers of sleazy headlines, that was your load of headline garbage for today! However, real headlines are even worse, they're not fake; or are they?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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